On the first day of 2018, most people are openly planning or putting into effect their new years resolutions. For me, I have 3 simple resolutions which I hope I can really stick to this year.
Write more. Before I started working full time, I took to this, my personal blog and my vintage clothing blog to write, and it felt fulfilling to put out there some thoughts on life and my passion for vintage fashion (no rhyme intended!). Since work has took over 70% of my weekly time, in 2017 with managing a household and being mom to a very attentive 4 year old, my blog writing took the back burner. So did selling my vintage fashion. I felt like I didn’t have enough creativity to put words to paper (or computer) to be able to articulate both these efforts. So in 2018, I’m making the resolution to try and put thoughts down on here and to try and reorganize Ten/10 Vintage.
Open up to people more and foster existing friendships. This topic has been increasingly difficult for me over the past 2 years with moving here. I was very open to making new friends when we first moved to the US, but over time I’m unsure if it is American “society”, my anxiety, or just me shifting priorities which has made things a little more challenging to really put in that extra effort to fostering friendships.
I’ve learnt the following: adults are weird post 30’s, and it requires super effort to try to make new friends. People have their quirks, which seem really noticeable to someone more mature. I’m an empath so I really work off the current vibes of people (whether I know them or not) and this can come across really overwhelmingly for me, possibly triggering some of the anxiety I feel. I’ve had moments where the vibe has not been great. Instinctually, my “AVOID AVOID” alarms go off, and I back away. I’m not into small talk. I don’t do well in crowds of more than 6 people at a time. My attention gets muddled and I feel like I can’t truly “get to know” people if surrounded by too many new faces. I’ve noticed this a lot while being here. Sure, I also had these moments in Australia with… lets call them acquaintances. Part if this NY resolution is to try and not let the above affect me so much. I know it does and I know I dwell on it way after the event.
Where we live, people are spread out all over the Bay Area. Friends we made in San Jose are harder to visit / see because the 1 hour drive can be trying during the weekends and this is the only time we have off. Its true to say that apart from Facebook I’ve lost contact with some of those mom friends. Back in Australia, we used see our close friends every 2 weeks (at least!) even with having Stella with us. Mid week dinners were no fuss, and traveling on the weekend didn’t mean driving more than 30mins to get anywhere.
With my Aussie friends, it was so simple to tee up a casual brunch or simple outing / house visit. Here, it seems to be a bigger affair to try and arrange (mainly because if you try to go anywhere good to eat, there are always too many people, need to make reservations or wait/queue). Maybe it is just my anxiety which is telling me this or stopping me from planning, but for the last year, its certainly felt that way.
For all the things I love…. MUSIC, Arts, etc… I’ve found it really hard to pair these to the interests of friends. You look for these things when making new friends to give you something in common. We were SO social in Aus. I think because our group of friends were so into all the above. Attended music gigs, were into the original music scene (is there even a scene in the Bay area?) BUT… my new years resolution here is to try and make that little more effort with arranging outings and getting to know people a bit better, doing some research.
I’ve had a guard up in 2017.
I guess with not knowing whether we were going to stay or go back home to Australia, I distanced myself from wanting to get “close” to anyone in fear that leaving would then make me even more sadder. I also feel that the “real me” has been on hiatus. That is the lively sassy creative Ten that my Australian friends know. She sometimes makes an appearance after a few wines (lol) but for the most part, she’s turned into quite the introvert.
As in the Tennie my Australian friends know and love, is certainly not what my American friends are seeing. Or maybe the disapproving glances my husband throws my way when I do get a bit rowdy when out. Never know what is OK to talk about (or not talk about). I also don’t want to bore people with talking about my job (which is what the husbands seem to do A LOT). BORING. There is more to life than talking about that 9-5 thing you do to make $$ and live life. Possibly a tech industry thing. Yes, my job is interesting but for any friend outsider, I am sure they would rather talk about the latest films, our kids, vacations, travel or anything else.
Travel/Experience America. I can’t say we didn’t travel in 2017 because we hit up Hawaii (so magical) and we also managed a trip back home (there was no escaping that one with husband getting a new job). We also fit in Lake Tahoe post Christmas for some snow fun. But we’ve been here in America now for 2.5 years and 2018 seems like the year for us to really spread out wings and see some of the cities which husband and myself promised ourselves we would visit.
San Diego – our 4yr old is obsessed with animals. So we really want to hit up the SD zoo. Possibly also SD Comicon this year (if we can plan that well ahead of time!) as we are huge pop culture nerds and that would be the ultimate experience (even more so now our girl is getting really into Star Wars). I also just want the opportunity to say “Fuck you San Diego!” (Anchorman reference) but really I think I will love the place.
Chicago – Ever since watching Ferris Buellers Day Off as a kid, I’ve wanted to visit Chicago. Built over a city of lakes, the views which I’ve seen from friends social media posts and other sources make it looks amazing. We’d also love to go for some culinary delights and family friends have expressed interest in joining us so that seems like a rad idea!
Orlando – This is a trip most certainly going to happen at the end of February as we really miss our “spirit family”…. friends we made through my husbands first job who have remained our closest friends. They moved back to Florida to have their second child and we miss them terribly. I’m also excited to see Florida, the theme parks and get in some sunshine during these cold winter months.
As I sit here trying to recover from what seems to be the WORST head cold, the above 3 resolutions ring good and true.
What’s in store for your new year?